Free VIP Contest

[BugsBunny]

Everyone who wants to get vip must write a really good black humour joke.
Winners will be picked after a few days
Maybe one or two winners

[Luka]

First Joke:"Mom, where do tampons go?"

"Where the babies come from, darling."

"In the stork?"



Second:Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
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“No”, she replies sleepily.
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“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
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Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!

There you go bunny haha.

[[RZ]Citraxe]

vip would go for a friend.
1st : a homeless guy walks on the street when he suddenly sees a woman on the top of a building getting ready to jump, then asks : 'Hey woman, can we have sex before you kill yourself'
she replies : 'No , go away'
then he says : 'Fine ill just wait at the bottom'

[Darwin]

4th xd just remebered this one:

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to take the 4:23 train”

Farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even get the 4:11 one.”

[Jig]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.  He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.  The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.  He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"  The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."  There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard.  Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

[Vishwas]

My friend always wondered how all the black men have 4 inch plus. So he went into the hoods to find out.
He asked a random buffed up man, "Hey homes, How's it that all of y'all have 4 inch plus?"
He said, "When I was a kid , I had two choices, either to have a long D, or to have a good memory. *pauses* Damn I can't remember what I choose"

[Chetan]

Here are these;

1st:
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”
-
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"

2nd:
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.

[Maddy]

1.) My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old and we have no idea where the hell he is.

2.) Someone stole my mood ring, I don't how I feel about that.

3.) That man has heart of a lion and a lifetime ban to the zoo.

4.) Teacher: Anyone who thinks he is stupid may stand up
Nobody Stands up!
Teacher: I'm sure there are some stupids over here!
Johnny stands up!
Teacher: Oh, Johnny you think you are stupid?
Johnny: No, I'm just feeling bad you are standing alone

5.) 3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

[Hito]

1)
-Karma-kun! what comes after 69 ?
- the always answer is a mouthwash.




2)
Doctors told the man that he only had 1 year to live.
He worked hard and proved them wrong.
He died in 2 months.



3)
-Boy1: Dad why my name is Peter parker ?
-Dad : cuz I like spider-man
-Boy2 : what about me dad ?
Dad : enough questions Johnny sins.


Edit :
4)
⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇
https://planbserver.com/forum/index.php?topic=1366.0

[Vishwas]

4)
⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇
https://planbserver.com/forum/index.php?topic=1366.0

Shit, good one. You might win

[Sumit]

Edit :
4)
⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇
https://planbserver.com/forum/index.php?topic=1366.0

Winner! xD

[Chetan]

Here are these;

1st:
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”
-
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"

2nd:
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.

One more:

KID: Dad, what do condoms do?

DAD: Son, they prevent questions just like that one.

[Vishwas]

Jokes so dark cops shot em and planted drugs.

That is an example of black humour dark jokes :3 suprise me
But please whoever is vip should modify the post to the player that he like to get vip

I think you should decide winners first then people who have vip(like me) will let you know who we want to transfer it to

[Captain]

===============================================================================
"Madam, your son just called me ugly!"
 
The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."

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One man's trash is another Man's treasure? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

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I finally got one of those roof boxes for the car. It's very practical. I can barely hear my kids now.

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A box of condoms, please.
 
That’ll be 3,99. Do you want a bag with it?
 
Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty.

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What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler?
-
Just the Rottweiler.

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Doctor to a patient: "I have good and bad news for you. Which one would you like to hear first?"

"The good one please."

"I found the diagnosis of your illness, it means you have two days to live."

"And the bad one?"

"I’ve been trying to reach you for two days."

===============================================================================

Patient: Oh Doctor, I’m starting to forget things.

Doctor: Since when have you had this condition?

Patient: What condition?

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[BugsBunny]

I think we have a winner already :3,but i wanna hear some other before i choose da winners.